Yes, to Enthusiastic Consent in Two Steps
Enthusiastic consent is the model of consent that encourages people to make sure that the person they’re about to be with is enthusiastic about the interaction and wants to be there. It reinforces the idea that women are more than enthusiastic, engaged, and expressive on their own terms. Sounds like common sense right?
Yes, except, .. it’s not. The messages we get from our society about relationships are totally off-base. While, I won’t go into topics such as codependency, toxic masculinity, and unhealthy relationships; I will say that, enthusiastic consent is the opposite.
Enthusiastic consent fosters direct, open communication about pleasure. It means, that you want to get as excited about someone else’e enjoyment as you are about your own enjoyment. In a nutshell – yes, is verbalized as a yes – and it should come from an engaged and enthusiastic partner.
Enthusiastic consent is a skill we can teach persons at an early age to change the culture for young adults to make it inspiring and encouraging for everyone involved. Enthusiastic consent benefits both partners and builds fun, adventure, trust, and safety into intimacy.
So what are the 2 steps to enthusiastic consent?
1) Make sure that the person you are with wants to be with you. All you need to ask is, “Do you want to be here? And, do you want to have sex?” If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it’s not enough.
2) Since enthusiastic consent is an active process and whole body experience for both people; it means that you have to continually check in with your partner. Beyond the initial ‘yes’, it means that your partner continues to engage and show enthusiasm.
Enthusiastic consent is the standard today for modern relationships; and the best approach to build truly sustainable, thriving relationships for both people. If you or your partner need to develop the skills to acknowledge the other person’s sexual and emotional signals, then seek counseling; there are so many skills you can learn to truly “show up” in a relationship. Young adults should really accept nothing less than the best!
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to email and share your tips, words of wisdom, and stories with us.
Remember, you’ve got this & keep up the good work!
The Wellbe To Go Team